


i fell for you like snow in winter

by alex (inventedlove)



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, i don't know how to tag, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29034483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inventedlove/pseuds/alex
Summary: i hate summarising.idk after thanksgiving anderperry thingsno one dies btw
Relationships: Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	i fell for you like snow in winter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alice (@nuwanderism)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=alice+%28%40nuwanderism%29).



The boys of Vermont came home after a week of holiday for Thanksgiving. They had spent it with their respective families and when they came back to school, two boys in particular were the happiest: Neil and Todd. The group had planned to go back to school on the same day and time so when they both saw each other, they couldn’t help but drop their luggages on the ground and run up to each other, giving one another the warmest hug they could receive in this cold weather. 

“Todd!” Neil called. 

“How was thanksgiving?” Todd said, pulling away from Neil to look at him in the eye. 

“It wasn’t the best but hey at least we’re back together now.” 

They both giggled at the response and greeted the other boys as well. 

“Charlie. Meeks. Pittsie!” Todd shouted, “and Cameron? Where is he?” 

“Hey Todd!” The three of them replied.

“Honestly no idea, probably at Nolan’s office right now licking his shoes,” Charlie jested.

‘Yeah probably’ Todd thought to himself. It was something that Cameron would often do, so to them it was nothing odd. Cameron had always been the closest to Nolan and he was the only reason why the group was always out of Nolan’s view; he was the favourite and for that they all had some sort of privileges. Some people have even speculated that Cameron would one day take over Welton as Nolan’s successor and for Todd this was something that would definitely happen. 

The boys made their way back to their dorms. Todd noticed that Neil couldn’t stop smiling along the way, he thought nothing of it at first but when they had finally arrived Neil gave Todd a wooden angel doll. 

“It was my favourite gift from my Grandma,” Neil said.

“Neil, I don’t know what to say,” he said with confusion. 

“I thought I’d give it to you, you know,” he paused to take a quick glance at Todd and then back to his luggage again, “for something to help you remember me when we’re not together.”

“I guess you could call it an early Christmas gift,” he added. 

Todd put the doll down on his bed and hugged Neil from behind,

“God I missed you so much.” 

Neil turned around, finally placing Todd’s head on his shoulder, “and I to you.”

Within each other’s embrace, they both felt the warmth and comfort they’ve been longing for, for the week they spent not by each other’s side. For Neil, Todd often smelled like home to him for this reason it became very hard for him to feel like at home at his own house without Todd in it.

After eating dinner, Neil and Todd both sat on the edges of their bed with the notebooks they took home. It was time for their weekly poems (excerpts) reading session. It was something they’d begun doing when Todd decided that he wanted to get better at reading out loud, so to help him, Neil concluded that they ought to read poems out loud for one night every week, ranging from different genres of poetry. For this week, they’d decided on reading excerpts of Sappho out loud.

“What’d you choose Todd?” 

“Are you ready?” 

“Of course I am.” 

“Yet if you had a desire for good or beautiful things,  
and your tongue were not concocting some evil to say,  
shame would not hold down your eyes,  
but rather you would speak about what is just.” 

Todd looked up at Neil nervously to see how he would react to it, “Todd, that was beautiful,” he exclaimed. 

“Thank you,” he stuttered in reply. 

Todd had always felt so nervous reading to Neil no matter what. This wasn’t the first time they’d done it together but it still made him feel the same, like it was their first time. He looked at Neil again, signaling for him to start,

“Oh god sorry I’ve totally forgotten it was my turn.” Neil took a deep breath, 

“I simply want to be dead.  
Weeping she left me

with many tears and said this:  
Oh how badly things have turned out for us.  
Sappho, I swear, against my will I leave you.

And I answered her:  
Rejoice, go and  
remember me. For you know how we cherished you.”

They both fell into silence. Todd knew what this excerpt meant and it broke his heart a little. He didn’t know what to say, he was both shocked and saddened by the fact that before they had left for Thanksgiving, Neil was in his arms crying about how much weight he felt on his shoulder and that he could no longer see a bright future; to leave his family behind was a thought that had frequented him. He was simply exhausted. 

Todd stood up and hugged Neil, “For you know how we cherished you,” he repeated to Neil.

Todd embraced him for as long as he could before finally letting him go. His sweater was wet to the touch from Neil’s tears.

“Shush , shush, it’s okay Neil.” he said as he stroked Neil’s head. 

The whole night felt long and especially cold, Neil wasn’t able to stop crying and when he had finally stopped, he was worn out so Todd decided to call it a night and put Neil to bed.

Todd kneeled beside Neil’s bed, “thank you Neil for all that you’ve done for me,” he whispered, “I love you.” Giving Neil a peck on his left cheek afterwards.

Todd woke up in the middle of the night from the coldness he felt in the room. He looked out the window of their dorm room and saw that snow began falling. This made him extremely happy, he hadn’t been having the best of dreams lately and for some reason the snow falling was to him, a way to make him feel better. He’d always liked it when it snowed and it finally did, he caught the first snowfall of winter.

Todd nudged Neil’s shoulders to wake him up but Neil wouldn’t, so then Todd decided to leave him be, after all it would be better for him to have some rest, layering an extra blanket on top of him to prevent him from feeling cold. 

He watched the snow fall until he himself fell asleep with his knees against his chest and his head placed on his knees. 

“Todd, Todd, wake up Toddy.” 

Todd slowly opened his eyes, squinting when he had the chance, 

“Neil?” 

“Todd look! The snow fell last night.” 

Todd smiled, “oh yeah, I was watching it last night.” 

“Is that why I found you sleeping like this?” 

“Yeah,” he chuckled. 

Neil thought that it’d be best to leave Todd alone so he told him to go back to sleep and sleep in a proper position this time. Once Todd’s lied down properly, Neil decided to place the blanket, he'd woken up on top of him, on Todd. 

When Todd finally fell asleep once again, Neil analysed his face. He realised that Todd started having acne, though it wasn’t severe it was there, he thought that Todd looked the most beautiful. After having spent a long time admiring Todd, he stood up and leaned on Todd’s forehead.

“Hurry Todd!” Neil shouted, running towards the part of the school where the snow was the deepest.

It was freezing cold and Todd was still only wearing his pajamas with a big thick coat, though obviously not thick enough to make him feel warm. He stumbled on his way towards Neil but once he’d finally reached Neil, Neil was already making a snow angel. 

“Neil isn’t it cold?” He said while blowing on his hands trying to keep it warm. 

“Of course it is,” he paused, “I just feel so happy right now.” 

That very sentence made Todd’s mood lightened. He was glad Neil felt happy but also worried that Neil would soon end up sick if he stayed lying down like that. 

They took their time in making the snowman, though they couldn’t be bothered looking for sticks for the hands and nose, they thought that small dents on the ball of snow would suffice. This was something that didn’t really bother them as much as it would to others. They took a step back to look at the snowman’s full body. After studying every part of what made the snowman a snowman, they gave each other a smile. Neil reached for Todd’s hand and held it tightly. 

“I love you Neil.” Todd said as he fell on the snow and began crying. 

Neil caught him as he fell and held Todd close to him, “I love you too Todd.”

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know how to write fluff help 
> 
> also twitter is @inventedlove 
> 
> if you've read my other fic, 'no kiss goodnight' i hope you're glad that this time there is a kiss goodnight :) 
> 
> thank you for reading


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